What you say in dreams
by TalysAlankil
Summary: Sora has dreamed many times of what he wants Riku to say to him. Fic for Soriku Week 2019, with the prompts "I'm not dreaming this time, right?" / "First time"


"Sora, you lazy bum."

Kairi's cheery words had been on Sora's mind lately, even though so much time had passed since she had said them. It had taken one of his enemies echoing those words—_You always were such a sound sleeper_—for Sora to fully realize this fact about himself: his journey had been marked by sleep, perhaps more than anything aside from his friends.

Even then, he hadn't really stopped to think about it until he met Chirithy. He remembered the young Xehanort, telling him how sleep and darkness were so intrinsically linked, and now sleep and the Final World—death itself—were connected too.

None of that answered the question that now plagued his mind: why did all his dreams seem to lead to the same thing?

There was that first dream, of course, the one he still didn't quite understand to this day. The dream he'd had of the Heartless, the day before they had invaded his island and he'd received the Keyblade. Before the darkness had invaded his dreams, there had been something else—a vision of Riku holding out his hand to Sora, waiting for Sora to reach out and take it. As if to say, _come with me, be with me, fall with me_. And then Riku had _really_ held out his hand like that, and Sora had almost almost been convinced Riku would tell him those same words.

Maybe, if Sora had managed to take his hands, things would be different now. But probably not, Sora thought with a sigh.

* * *

It took longer for Sora to realize he _wanted_ to hear those words from Riku. That realization sank in when they met again inside of Monstro, and all Riku could talk about was saving Kairi. And, well, Sora wanted to save her too, of course. Yet he couldn't help but think, _is that all you want, Riku?_

Then Riku had vanished, and Sora had followed him into the heart of darkness, defeating Ansem and saving the world. What had happened afterwards was still a confused mess—even all of Naminé's powers could never truly restore his memories of that time, it seemed, so her explanations was all he had to work with.

What he knew was he'd ended up asleep for a long time. He knew Kairi had been the light that guided his memories back in the proper order, as she'd been the catalyst for the changes Naminé had worked into Sora's memories. But he knew that, during that time, he hadn't just been rebuilt from the ground up. A year was a long time to be asleep, and from that time, one dream still lingered in the recesses of Sora's mind.

In that dream, Sora was back in front of the Door to Darkness. But this time, when Riku showed up, he didn't stay behind the door to close it. It wasn't something Sora could explain, pure dream logic, but Riku stepped through the door. _You came for me,_ he said, and Sora felt tears prickling in his eyes because _yes, I did come for you, I would always come for you, why didn't you realize it before, why did it take falling into the darkness?_

And then Riku smiled, because he understood _now_. He took Sora in his arms, Sora rested his head on Riku's shoulder, and he felt a rush of pure light coming from both of them when he did. A light more radiant than even the one that had come out of Kingdom Hearts and annihilated Ansem once and for all, strong enough even to close the Door to Darkness. Again, pure dream logic.

It was almost embarrassing to dream that things could be so simple. Sora had never mentioned that dream to anyone.

* * *

The next dream was more of a daydream. Though, from everything Sora understood of darkness and sleep now, he figured the two were close enough when one was sitting on the Dark Margin, trapped with his best friend after saving all the worlds once more.

Carrying Riku to the beach had been harrowing and exhilarating all at once. Just being able to hold on to him at all, with no oncoming threat, was enough to make Sora's heart pound in his chest. Yet being in the Realm of Darkness was its own form of pressure, the ambiant darkness pressing on Sora's heart. Dragging him towards despair, towards abandon. Towards sleep.

For a minute, it was like being stuck in a waking dream. One moment they were sitting on the sand, teasing each other about how lucky they were for having each other as a friend; the next, Sora could see Riku leaning in towards him, saying, _Maybe I'm not so lucky, because you're _only_ my friend_, and Sora froze, certainly not willing to back away but unable to lean in and meet him halfway.

Then the moment was gone, and Sora's vision returned to reality. A trick of the dark, an attempt to crush his spirit by showing him something he longed for but couldn't have. Wouldn't have.

If it hadn't been for Kairi's letter, Sora wasn't sure he _wouldn't_ have given into that siren's call of the dark then. Though he was sure Riku would have been there to pull him back out. _That_, at least, wasn't a dream.

* * *

While he hadn't witnessed King Mickey's journey in the datascape, it too had plagued Sora's dreams in its own ways. Hearing Donald and Goofy talk about it—about Sora and Riku's data equivalents—had set Sora's imagination on fire. For the few days before they had started the Mark of Mastery exam, his dreams were filled with images of Riku in trouble, and Sora diving into him to save him in spite of Riku's protests to save himself.

He wasn't even sure how that worked. Dream logic, he thought.

But then the reverse actually happened. Riku dived into _him_—into his heart, into his dreams—and kept him safe. And after Sora woke up, back in the safety of the Mysterious Tower, all he could wonder was, _which of my dreams did you _see_, Riku?_

He remembered little of his time in the deep sleep that the Organization had put him in—the one Riku had saved him from. Once more, the only thing he recalled was a dream, another dream of Riku holding his hand to pull him towards him—but towards the light, this time. Towards salvation.

Sora wasn't sure how much of that dream was just a dream and how much of it reflected what had actually taken place within his own heart. All he knew was that he'd been desperate to follow Riku, at any cost. So much so that once he'd awoken, and Riku had woken up as well, Sora couldn't help but throw himself at Riku, remembering only too late that _this_ version of Riku didn't want Sora in the way he did in Sora's dreams.

Even so, Sora found no difficulty congratulating Riku for being named a Keyblade Master. He could never, _ever_ berate him for his success.

* * *

And then, of course, there was the trial Sora had just gone through. Terra-Xehanort, and then the Wave of Darkness, ripping the hearts from all of Sora's friends. Sora himself, finding himself in the Final World, only held together by Kairi's Princess of Light power. And then, through the power of waking, recovering his friends' hearts.

This wasn't a dream—or maybe it was. Sora wasn't sure exactly what had happened, why they'd gone back to before that last battle started.

What he knew was this: a light had guided him the entire way, and that light was Riku.

There had been no time to talk much after this. The Keyblade War raged, and Master Xehanort's plan came to fruition, only foiled at the last minute through a plan hatched by Riku and King Mickey and carried out by Sora, Donald and Goofy. And then Sora had to go and bring Kairi back, because a victory without her was meaningless.

But that didn't mean he didn't spend a moment, in the midst of all the fighting, wishing he and Riku would have a moment to talk. A moment for Sora to open up, as he hadn't gotten to on the eve of the battle. He wouldn't have known what to say then, and now, now that he looked at Riku and only saw the light that guided him, he didn't have the time to say it.

Still, it was nice enough to imagine. To picture Riku, about to chase after Ansem, suddenly turning back to smile at Sora and say, _you're my light too, Sora_.

Yeah, it was nice to imagine it.

* * *

His return was a complicated thing, and he sensed it was only the start of a new story. But for now, they were together again. Alone on the Destiny Islands beach at sunset, most of their friends gone back home. Kairi had taken Sora aside for one last hug, looked at Riku, and said, "I need some rest, but—you guys catch up."

Sora stared at her, confused. It wasn't like they'd _just now_ met for the first time since Sora's return. Riku had been an instrumental part of it, after all.

Kairi returned his stare with a chuckle. "You and I got to close a chapter of our lives before—" she waved at Sora. "Before _all this_." Her gaze went to the paopu tree, making her meaning obvious even to Sora. "But you didn't get that chance with him, did you? You didn't get to tell him how you feel."

"I—" Sora wasn't sure how Kairi could see all of that so clearly, when it still felt so confusing for him, but he nodded. "Yeah. Thanks, Kairi."

"Good luck," she said with a warm grin before taking off.

And then Sora and Riku were alone on the beach, and Sora didn't know where to even _start_.

* * *

He knew how he wanted this conversation to go. He had dreamed of it every single time he'd slept since he had gone off to save Kairi at the Keyblade Graveyard.

He wanted Riku to say: "I've missed you so much, Sora."

And then he'd try to be strong, to tease Riku or even just to say it back, but instead, he'd break down immediately, and say: "You have no idea how long I've wanted to hear you say that."

Riku would frown. "What do you mean? Of course I missed you."

"Yeah. I _am_ your best friend, right?"

"You are. But not just that. You're the most important person in my life, Sora." He would pause, try to control his breathing, and fail. "When you went—"

"You said my heart was made up."

"It was, wasn't it? I'd made my peace with that. But it still _hurt_, Sora."

"Well, I'm back now." Sora would manage a weak smile. "The most important person in your life?" he'd say, teasing.

And then Riku would kiss him. He could picture it in his mind, clear as day. He could all but feel Riku's lips on his. And—

Wait. He couldn't just _all but_ feel the kiss.

He could just straight-up feel the kiss.

Sora's eyes flew open in shock.

It wasn't a dream, a daydream, a fantasy. It wasn't how the conversation went in his mind—it was how the conversation had just _gone_, period.

Riku sensed him tensing up, and pulled away. "I'm sorry, I—"

"No," Sora said, breathless. "No! Don't be _sorry_!" He felt himself well up again, which made no sense, because— "This is exactly what I've been wanting _all this time_!" He hated the pained way his voice sounded.

Riku blinked in surprised. "It—it is?"

"I'm not dreaming this time, right? This is really happening?" He'd spent so long in the dark, he wasn't sure anymore.

At least, not until Riku's hand cupped his cheek. That touch, the warmth of Riku's smile, the stirring in Sora's heart—those couldn't be faked. "You're not dreaming," he said. "You're back. You're home, and I love you."

Sora broke down then, and Riku pulled him into a tight embrace, holding him until he was done crying. Sora was pretty sure Riku was crying too, relief mixing with the grief of the lost time that could have been between them.

"I love you too," Sora finally managed to say, though is voice was hoarse and barely better than a croak.

Riku kissed him again, and this time, Sora was ready to kiss him back.


End file.
